If any of you are short of the odd term of endearment to send, maybe you would like to steal one of these and call it original.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you, coz I'd been on the p*ss.
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But
the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and
so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you really screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime
Your visage is perfect, your figure divine,
I think I'll just stop at one flagon of wine
How to begin this romantic epistle?
Your face looks like cats licking sh*t off a thistle
Your Reubenesque stature is hard to surpass,
One could screen movies on the cheeks of your "bleep"
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If you want to view a rainbow then you have to put up with the rain.